It was a slow day at work today, so on my break I headed over to a store called Trashy Lingerie. Trashy Lingerie is situated across the street from Star strip, an all nude stripping club and is famous for their custom made lingerie and their very provocative window displays. They also have very beautiful, very sexy and yes, very trashy Halloween costumes. Around Halloween the store gets packed with young ladies searching for something that will put their best assets on full display. It totally made me think of the movie Mean Girls. Lindsey Lohan’s character comments on how Halloween is the one day a year where a girl can dress like a complete slut and no one can call her one. Judging by the number of women in the store, there are quite a few ladies who are happy to take advantage of this free pass. And then I got to thinking how hard it is to be sexy in our culture. You should be sexy, but not too sexy, because then you risk being labeled a slut by men and women alike. We get told to “look” or “act” sexy in our culture, but there is no real room for a woman to authentically display her sexuality, to put it out there, so to speak, without risking shame, embarrassment or real harm. (Except on Halloween, of course.) I think that is why so many women love pole dancing class. Not because they just want to put themselves on display, but because they can be authentically, openly sexual and they will be supported, even cheered for it by other women. In that one or two hours of class, they give themselves permission to fully express a part of themselves that has otherwise been pushed away, cut off, demonized. They have a safe space in which to fully express their sexual selves. And that doesn’t really exist anyplace else in our culture.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
The room is dark, so dark that it takes a half a minute for your eyes to adjust. When they do, the first thing you notice is the reddish glow cast from the single lamp in the corner of the room. Next, you see three silver poles, each reaching ten feet in height from the hardwood floors to the ceiling, scattered throughout the room. You can barely make out the silhouette of a female form sprawled gracefully in the center of the room, lying motionless. Off to the side, five women are lounging on a bench covered in silk pillows, waiting in anticipation. Music starts out of nowhere. It is deafeningly loud, and then the female shape begins to move slowly. The women on the bench erupt into cheers. The woman on the floor begins to move her hips and butt in an impossibly slow circle, her long blonde hair cascading down her back while her eyes peer seductively at the women from underneath the rim of the baseball hat she is wearing. Her body is thick and voluptuous. As she arches her head back, the baseball cap tumbles off onto the floor. She continues to dance, reaching out for the hat, putting it on and letting it fall off again. You get the sense that there is a connection to this hat, that it means something to her. Wrapping one hand around the pole she swings her legs out, her body lifts graciously into the air and she twirls back down to the floor again, this time on all fours. Her movements are sensual and arousing, but there is more to her dance than that. She is communicating to you through her body, holding a conversation about her desires and her emotions.